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So Far Gone

SoFarGone5Who would have ever thought that I could feel this way about something?  About someone.

Who could have ever known I would be so far gone this soon?

I look at him…and time just slows.  It’s everything everyone said it would be.  It’s a feeling, it’s that feeling, you’ll only know once you have a child.

My oldest son is me.  He looks like my wife, but he is me.

Sometimes it takes looking at pictures of him while he is asleep upstairs to fully appreciate it all and take the whole thing in.

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Posted by on September 19, 2013 in Brad the Dad, Dads Round Table

 

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I’m a Flawed Husband and Father

Pouty2It all started a few weeks ago as I followed the happenings of a dad summit that some of my fellow dads were attending.  It all started out innocent enough, but at some point the whole thing flipped on its head for me and I started asking myself, “Who exactly are these presenters and why should we be listening to them?”  That’s when it all started to go wrong.

I couldn’t get the image out of my head of this one dad standing up on stage, casually dressed and looking sharp in his Gap attire with a hands-free microphone attached to his ear, about to drop some knowledge on his audience.  I couldn’t help but think how unqualified I was to be standing in his position.  The real problem was though, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking if the guy on stage was qualified either.

I didn’t stick around to hear his message; I didn’t want to.

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Posted by on February 22, 2013 in Brad the Dad, Dads Round Table

 

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Dad: Abandoned and Alone

I sit here by myself wondering what happened. Wondering what happened, and how it happened so quickly.

Why did it come to this?

Where did I go wrong?

A quick glance at my phone provides a few moments of company, but even that brief interaction won’t fill the void that I have. I’m alone. I’ve been abandoned.

The high pitched sound of laughter is gone. The ease of conversation has long since faded away. The proud looks my wife and I would share when one of the boys said “please” or “thank you” are now but a memory. I even miss the fighting. Who had the matchbox car first? Why is this one’s hand so close to the other one’s arm? Is it the end of the world or did little brother just eat big brother’s corn? The very same corn that only moments earlier big brother adamantly declared he wasn’t going to eat. Go figure.

The good and the bad, I miss it all.

Sure there are times in marriage when I yearn to be alone. A long day of work followed by a rough commute home often leaves me with a healthy appetite for silence. Silence often not achieved in our house until well after 9pm. Silence that is about as close as Antarctica when sitting at the dinner table with two picky eaters. But now that I have this silence, I find that I really don’t want it. Grass is always greener, right?

I glance around at my surroundings.

You know how you never really notice car commercials until you are actively looking to buy a car? That’s pretty much how I feel at this moment. Seemingly everyone in my vicinity was with their family. Sharing a laugh with a loved one while separating the kids from each other during a minor dust up, smiles on their faces as they shake their heads knowingly.

Me? I was alone. Abandoned and alone.

“Your check sir. Oh my, where did your family go?”

“Thank you. There was a meltdown and everyone’s already in the car.”

Brad the Dad can be reached at bradmarmo@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter at keyword: readbradthedad

This article originally appeared on Chelmsford Patch on 9/9/12.

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2012 in Brad the Dad, Chelmsford Patch

 

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